today's the big day! just a few more hours...
posted by gaga at 12:39 PM ::

i have vertigo. doesn't that just sound cool? vertigo i'm a dork, i kno.

apparently it's not that big of a deal. do you know anyone else who's gotten vertigo from a freakin' cold? i don't! it IS a big deal. o well.

i hate going to the doctor. they always just tell you what you already know (drink lotsa water, get lotsa rest). i honestly thought that this time there was something really wrong and that i'd actually get some sort of real attention, but i was wrong. i did get a prescription for antivert, but i don't think i'm gonna take it. i'll live.
posted by gaga at 7:52 AM ::

the world is spinning

duh, you might say, it's always spinning. well...does it always spin without you?

i've had a cold for a while. i've been working hard at being a hermit, drinking lotsa water, eating my vitamins, sleeping a lot, etc. becuase i want desparately to be 100% by the big day. but this morning, as i was doing my week-daily pushups, i felt like i was doing them unevenly, so i paused and realized the world was spinning without me. that was my cue to stop. so i did. but since then, i've been feeling extremely light-headed and every once in a while, the world spins without me again (kinda like when your drunk).

as of this moment, a new weird sensation has come over me. i feel detached from the lower half of my body and the world isnt' spinning right now so much as moving down without me? like an elevator? haha, i feel like i'm shrinking. dude, something is seriously wrong. and no i'm not high. i haven't taken any medication at all, just a vitamin C, a multi-vitamin, a calcium supplement, and vitamin E with lotsa water and half a cup of applesauce (unsweetened with some cinnamon sprinkled in). okay, now my head is detaching from the whole body, not just the bottom half. what the heck is going on?!?!?!?!

i think i might stop by the doctor's today...
posted by gaga at 10:23 AM ::

fashion help please. is it okay to wear a periwinkle colored dress (really light purplish blue, kinda like this background) to an evening wedding at the end of october? my tummy is not cooperating with me, therefore i have a limited amount of choices to pick from. thanks!
posted by gaga at 8:32 AM ::

o baby, i'm excited again. guess who's coming in a week! EDDIE! haha. yay! yippeeee! wooohooo! hooray!

it's snuck up on me this time. i haven't been counting down the days since a year ago like i usually do. i only just realized today that he's coming so soon. i guess that whole losing weight thing before he comes is out the door. o well. i try to use our visits as motivation, but it only worked the first time. it worked really really well that time, but hasn't since. i mean, where i am now, i'm satisfied. but i'm right on the border of being satisfied. i mean, i know i don't look great, but not horrible either. i could definitely use some work, but the fact that i don't look horrible makes it so that i lack motivation. i know, i know. i should just do it and get it over with instead of being on the fence for so long and never being truly happy with where i am. i'll get my act together one of these days. i'm just not ready to do it yet. and i also know it's not a "diet", it's a "lifestyle change". well, that lifestyle change applies to maintaining your weight and i think i've got that down, but the diet gets you to the weight that you wanna maintain. i just need to take a deep breath and just go for it. i've realized that i'm like that with pretty much everything. i flip flop on things, do my whining for a while just to get it outta my system, and then i finally make a decision, and i'll go for it without looking back, 100% until i've accomplished whatever it was that i decided on, whether it be a short term or long term goal. it's just not always the right decision...

hey, this was supposed to be a blog about my honey, not my weight or decision making habits! back on the more important subject :) i really don't have much to say except he's coming. i'm excited. i miss him. i love him. o, and i'm fat. =)
posted by gaga at 10:22 AM ::

i have teeth! well, sorta. i have temporary crowns, which i must admit look much better than having no crowns at all. i gotta wait until nov 20! (or until someone cancels their appointment before me) to get the permanent crowns. fun stuff...sitting in that dentist chair for 3.5 hours.

now the problem is getting used to having them again. i feel like bugs bunny or something. they're totally in the way and feel humungous. it's kinda hard to close me mouth over them. i keep banging 'em when i'm trying to eat. but the ordeal is that much closer to being over, thank goodness.

my question of the day...(not related to above in any way). how do working mom's do it? i'm playing mommy for 2 weeks, to a 15 year old (real mommy and daddy are outta town). i've also had a busy week at work. so i've been trying to balance mommy-life, work-life, and personal-life, and it's doable, just not that easy. okay, so i'm doing the single mom thing, but also to a 15 year old which is a lot easier than a 5 year old. it's more my own fault though. i feel the need to rush home and make a nice, fresh, yummy yet nutritious dinner for him every nite at a reasonable hour. i feel horrible if i ask him to pop something in the microwave for dinner or make him do the dishes. i feel horrible if i say i can't give him a ride somewhere or run a certain errand for him or something like that. i kno, i kno, i spoil my brother and will probably do the same, if not worse to my own. but this week, i'm gonna try another approach so that i can better the personal life part of it. wish me luck!

one more thing. YAY FOR ME! i completed an entire 5K on sunday morning with only 4 hours of sleep the nite before and legs that were already sore from a squat-crazy class at the gym on friday (which by the way still hurts today). i was determined not to walk any of it, and on some of those steeper hills, people walked faster than the pace i was "jogging", but i didnt' stop, i didn't get discouraged, and i made it!
posted by gaga at 3:51 PM ::

did you know that jack in the crack invented the drive-thru? i always thought it was in-n-out. i love the food network. =)
posted by gaga at 8:33 AM ::

so tell me if i'm rude...

when walking around in the office, there are often "collisions" in the hallways. they've even recently installed these little mirror bubble things so that you can see around the corner as you're coming to keep from running into people. it's funny. anyway. so i don't have the habit of stopping or letting people walk by when i run into people. i tend to just keep going. i apologize. but i don't stop. i don't even really slow down. usually, both people stop, they apologize, they laugh, then say, "go ahead." and the other say, "o no, you first." "please, i insist." blah blah blah. okay, maybe that's an exagerration, but you get the idea. so am i rude for not stopping? i just don't have the habit to, but i'm trying to build it. i don't know why. maybe because i'm a girl and don't really think about that whole "letting the other person go ahead of you" thing. do you other girls out there have the habit of stopping? what about you boys?
posted by gaga at 9:29 AM ::

october 14. that's the day i get my teeth =)
posted by gaga at 1:19 PM ::

it's kinda weird. i'm not in the mood to blog at all, but i feel an obligation too. look what you've done jon. so here i am.

i'm in one of those moods again. off in my own little world and content being there. i've been having these moods a lot more ever since i came back to sd. but then again, i think i've always had 'em because being in this mood meant not dealing with anyone except my honey, which i did very often. it just didn't feel like it because we were off in our little world and i wasn't alone. and he's not here anymore, so i just notice it more maybe.

i think this week is the week that i'm gonna get my act back together as far as my diet and exercise routines go. monday already started off pretty good. and i'm remotivated. i really got outta control for about two weeks and it'll take at least a month to make up for it, so that's what i'm gonna concentrate on. if i go out to eat with any of you, please help keep me in check. thanks!

i feel like my life is a never-ending battle with weight. it's really frustrating actually. my weakness is eating. i love food. how could anyone be aneroxic? that's blasphemy! i do love exercising now too, so that's good, but still, the love for eating often outweighs my love for exercise. but i've had success in the recent past and i know i can do it, so it's not discouraging, just annoying. what happened to the good old days where i could eat a bag of cheetos for lunch and not gain an ounce? i miss those days...
posted by gaga at 8:06 AM ::